Oscars Recap.

I usually wait to post a post-Oscars account but I have some friends on the other side of the ocean that will read this in the AM so I want it published for them before I go to bed (yes, you Kayla.) 

Well I'm going to bed pretty happy. I predicted 20 out of 25 categories correct, which is around my average. I missed Production Design, Cinemantography, Sound Mixing, Film Editing and Music Score (although I really wanted Mychael Danna to win because I love him).  I got Costume Design correct for the first time! (I don't agree with the winner, but at least I predicted correctly!) Jennifer Lawrence is adorable. Daniel Day-Lewis is a beautiful human being. Seth MacFarlane is hilarious and Musicals RULE! And yes the whole ceremony was a little "gay," - GET OVER IT. 

My bones to pick:

1. Okay, everyone knew Adele was going to win Best Song (c'mon, she's Adele). But the other nominees needed to have their moment in the sun. 

2. Captain Kirk in the opening number? Really?

3. I totally predicted Barbra Streisand singing "The Way We Were" in the memoriam. But it really pisses me off when we tribute one person who died more than all the others. I love him, but really how can Marvin Hamlish deserve any more screen time than any other legend we lost (particularly Nora Ephron.)?

4. Seth, get off the stage. You were a fantastic host and then you sang a song about losers in the end. You were a winner until that moment. Also boob song and puppets - why?

5. Ang Lee over David Russell? Really?

6. Sorry Catherine Zeta Jones had to lipsync.

7. Sorry Russell Crowe can't sing on key. 

8. Who invited Kristen Stewart? Do you want to be an actress? You know half the world wants to be the Academy Awards presenting an award with Daniel Radcliffe? SHUT UP! LOOK HAPPY!

9. I want Meryl on the screen longer. She's my Queen. 

10. With the exception of when Anne Hathaway and James Franco hosted, the show never seems that long. This year didn't seem long - but it was. Seriously it wasn't over until after midnight?

My loves:

1. Music Music Music - all of it was great. 

2. Charlize Theron can dance? seriously?

3. Thank you Jennifer Hudson for reminding us that America is an idiot for not making you our idol. Clearly we were wrong. 

4. Seth MacFarlane and Sally Field making out? Beautiful moment. 

5. Jennifer Lawrence being the most perfect 22 year old. Tripping over a dress. Doing shots before interviews. LOVE HER!

6. Ben Affleck getting his due and having a beautiful speech.

7. The reenactment of The Sound of Music! OMG!

8. Maybe I don't hate Daniel Day Lewis - gracious human being. 

9. Michelle Obama presented Best Picture. Ok, didn't see that coming. Well done producers. 

10. My predictions were exceptional this year. I last minute changed one but I didn't do it on my blog so I'll stand by my 20 out of 25 (but it was really 21 out of 25!)

Fashion picks:

Jane Fonda

Sally Field

Sandra Bullock 

Jennifer Lawrence

Jennifer Aniston

Jessica Chastain

Amanda Seyfried

Fashion Fails:

Samuel L Jackson

Anne Hathaway

Zoe Saldana

Bradley Cooper's mom

I've been sitting on the couch for several hours now and I don't want it all to be over. But I guess I'll go to bed now (1am) See you all next year!

Oh, and Happy Birthday Emmanuelle Riva!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Ladies and Gentlemen,
It's that time of year again. That magical time where I lock myself in a room with a TV, plant myself on the couch, dominate the remote, and smile from ear to ear for several hours. Yes, it's Oscar night. This year will be an interesting year for the show. New host, new voting system and the possibility for many upsets.
As usual here are my predictions and my commentary with each award. I didn't see as many of the films this year as I would have liked, but nevertheless I have an opinion and here we go!

Best Actor: 
My Prediction: Daniel Day-Lewis, "Lincoln"
There are a few categories that are shoe-ins this year and this is one of them.
Who'd I give it to: Daniel Day-Lewis.
Is anyone else nominated?

Best Actress:
My Prediction: Jennifer Lawrence, "Silver Lining's Playbook"
Other Nominees: Jessica Chastain, "Zero Dark Thirty," Emmanuelle Riva, "Amour," Quvenzhane Wallis, "Beasts of the Southern Wild," Naomi Watts, "The Impossible"
Okay, so this is one of the more interesting categories. For a long time everyone thought Jessica Chastain would win, then it was Jennifer Lawrence and now a lot of people think it will be Emmanuelle Riva. It really is still up in the air. The Academy loves honoring the older nominees who might not get another chance to win. Lawrence and Chastain's careers are just jumping off and there are plenty more nominations ahead of them, but not so much for Riva who will turn 86 today! But until the nominations, who had even heard of Riva? Also, wouldn't it be awesome if 9 year-old Quvenzhane wins?
Who I'd give it to: Jennifer Lawrence, "Silver Lining's Playbook"
I'm becoming a HUGE JLaw fan, and it started after seeing this movie. I cannot tell you how amazing of a movie it is. And she kills in this movie. Fingers crossed.

Best Supporting Actor:
My Prediction: Christoph Waltz, "Django Unchained"
Other Nominees: Alan Arkin, "Argo," Robert De Niro, "Silver Lining's Playbook," Phillip Seymour Hoffman, "The Master," Tommy Lee Jones, "Lincoln"
The producers would be smart to wait to do this category a little let in the ceremony. For the first time in Oscar history all the nominees in a category have been nominated once before! And there really isn't a shoe in. Or is there? Waltz has sweeped all the other awards but lately De Niro has been picking up some steam. He's done more press for Silver Linings Playbook than he has for any of his other movies. Also it's been 32 years since he won. Remember when Meryl Streep hadn't won in 29 years... I'm just saying.
But still usually when you sweep all the other awards you can pretty much go ahead and write your speech. But this will be a category I'm happy to be wrong about.
Who I'd give it to: Robert De Niro, "Silver Lining's Playbook"
Have you seen this movie? Enough said.

Best Supporting Actress:
My Prediction: Anne Hathaway, "Les Miserables"
Other Nominees: Amy Adams, "The Master," Sally Field, "Lincoln," Helen Hunt, "The Sessions," Jacki Weaver, "Silver Lining's Playbook"
Well everyone knew Anne Hathaway was going to win back before the movie was even released. And rightly so. I'm not a fan of the movie personally, but you can't deny that Hathaway KILLED it. I'd personally love for Field to win, just because she's awesome and I can't deny the fact that I like her, but if anyone other than Hathaway wins it would be the biggest upset in Oscar history.
Who'd I give it to: Anne Hathaway, "Les Miserables"

Best Adapted Screenplay:
My Prediction: "Argo"
Other Nominees: "Beasts of the Southern Wild," "Life of Pi," "Lincoln," "Silver Lining's Playbook"
I don't have a real guess with this one. But Argo has the momentum to win.

Best Original Screenplay:
My Prediction: "Django Unchained"
Other Nominees: "Amour," "Flight," "Moonrise Kingdom," "Zero Dark Thirty"
Quentin can't go unrecognized at this show, so here ya go. However, Zero Dark Thirty won the WGA...
Who'd I give it to: "Moonrise Kingdom"
This movie was awesome and it deserves more recognition than it got this year.

Best Animated Feature:
My Prediction: "Brave"
Other Nominees: "Frankenweenie," "ParaNorman," "The Pirates! Band of Misfits, "Wreck-It Ralph"
Who I'd give it to: "Brave"
"Brave" isn't as good as past Pixar movies, but it's still Pixar and can't do wrong.

Best Director:
My Prediction: David O. Russell, "Silver Lining's Playbook"
Other Nominees: Michael Hanke, "Amour," Benh Zeitlin, "Beasts of the Southern Wild," Ang Lee, "Life of Pi," Steven Spielberg, "Lincoln"
Talk about unpredictable. When Ben Affleck didn't get nominated, it really rocked the world of award shows. He was won best director at every award show INCLUDING THE DGA! So it's anyone's guess who will win. But Lincoln was really the "Daniel Day-Lewis Show"no one cares about anyone else involved in the movie because Day-Lewis overshadowed them all. Ang Lee I'm sure did a great job (haven't seen Life of Pi yet), but he's already won. And Silver Lining's Playbook is amazing so I hope it wins.
Who I'd give it to: David O. Russell, "Silver Lining's Playbook"
Duh.

Best Picture:
My Prediction: Argo
Other Nominees: Amour, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Django Unchained, "Les Miserables" "Life of Pi,""Lincoln," "Silver Lining's Playbook," "Zero Dark Thirty"
If Ben Affleck had gotten nominated for Best Director, this may be a different race. But everyone wants Affleck to have his day in the sun so let's give him the biggest honor we can. Best Picture trumps Best Director.
Who I'd give it to: "Silver Lining's Playbook"
I've only seen 3 of the 9 nominated movies this year, a record low for me. Lincoln was good, Les Mis was disappointing. Silver Lining's Playbook was an unexpected gem and it wins my Best Picture award.

Best Costume Design:
Because I work in costumes I always give my commentary of the category. I, embarrassingly, have never predicted this category correctly, but the Academy and I have very different opinions of what makes good design. Just because costumes are elaborate and spectacular, doesn't mean they are a good design. Nevertheless here is my prediction and opinion, whatever it's worth:
Who I'd give it to: "Les Miserables" - actually had good designs but they aren't pretty, so it can't win.
My Prediction: "Anna Karenina" - A pretty historical drama. Sounds like an Academy winner to me.

Other Category Predictions:
Cinematography: "Skyfall"
Film Editing: "Zero Dark Thirty"
Foreign Film: "Amour"
Make-Up and Hair: "Les Miserables"
Music (Original Score): "Lincoln"
Music (Original Song): "Skyfall" from "Skyfall"
Production Design: "Les Miserables"
Sound Editing: "Zero Dark Thirty"
Sound Mixing: "Skyfall"
Visual Effects: "Life of Pi"

I don't include Documentaries and Short Films in my predictions because I have no way of having a clue but here are my predictions whatever they are worth.
Documentary Feature: "Searching for Sugar Man"
Documentary Short: "Inocente"
Short Film (Animated): "Paper Man"
Short Film (Live Action): "Curfew"

Happy Oscar Day Everybody!

Happy Birthday, Samantha

Time heals all wounds. It’s a lie. Time only makes pain more tolerable. And then one little thing happens and the pain is as fresh as the day it started.

 Everyone has hard times; everyone has chapters in their lives they want to forget - I’m nothing special in that sense. I’m an open-book. Almost. There is one chapter that I don’t share openly. I’m not ashamed of it. But sometimes I feel as though talking about this time in my life is, in a way, bragging of my own sob story. Then it seems trivial, when it was anything but. Others have had harder times and my story isn’t very unique. But it is precious; therefore I shield it from judgment and harm because I don’t think anyone can really understand. But it has come to define me. It is my chapter, my life, my story.


 I remember when the age of 25 seemed old, but it’s not, it’s so young. We should be facing our quarter-life crises together, getting drunk at bars, worrying about money, and kissing men - not boys. But instead today is just another day where I’m left wondering about all the stories we never made. Samantha would be 25 today. My quarter-life crisis started when I was 21, the same time Samantha’s life ended.


 My emotions have become a brick wall when it comes to cancer. I am not fazed by it, nor am I saddened by the mention of it. It’s hardened me in a way that is unflattering, for I am unsympathetic towards cancer, an evil and indifferent disease. But almost everyone has been touched by cancer in one way or another, therefore I am not special, and those affected by the disease are no less deserving of my sympathy. I guess it’s made me bitter - that I had to live through it and witness its unmerciless attacks while my best friend had to die from it.


 My unflattering and emotionless brick wall may appear bitter, and it is. But it hides the sincere empathy I have for those that have the ill fate to be affected by the disease. I understand more than anyone really realizes. But I reserve and withhold my understanding and empathetic nature for fear that it will open up the wound of my loss and pour salt in it. That would simply be unbearable.


 And then the other day, while watching a silly television show, with an ill written cancer storyline, I burst into tears. An unimportant, minor character was discovered, frail and pale, in chemo treatment. The character had relapsed and all the old memories that I had buried were all on the surface again – or maybe they were already there because of her impending birthday. I remembered Samantha’s voice each time she told me she relapsed, what she looked like after weeks of treatment, my fears and my loss. And it was unbearable.


 It doesn’t get easier. I don’t cry as much, but I still think about it. Not the cancer – never the cancer. But I still think she’s a phone call away. There’s still a hole in my life where I know she would- should- be. How can it be four years since we turned 21? How do you get past losing a best friend?


 I carry Samantha with me everywhere. She’d love West Virginia, and St. Louis and even Danville. She would love the bars, the music, the dancing. She’d tell me my jokes are horrible and kick my ass in the gym. She’d tell me to get over my broken heart and then kill the boy that broke it. She’d also tell me the truth, that the guys I waste time on don’t deserve me. She’d be sympathetic when I didn’t deserve it, loud when I am quiet. She wouldn’t put up with any shit and wouldn’t linger on the unnecessary or unwanted.


 Sometimes, I think I romanticize her memory, but she wasn’t perfect. She’d speak without thinking. She had horrible taste in boys. She liked crappy romance movies like Tristan & Isolde, The Lake House. She took terrible care of her car. She didn’t always give people second chances. She had a hard time saying “no.” Jokes sometimes had to be explained her. But she was smart, she was fun, and she was kind. She needed me as much as I needed her – which is my favorite quality in a true friend.


 She was fierce. She was loyal. She was human.
And I miss her.


 “Remember that the pain of parting from friends will be felt by everybody at times, whatever be their education or state. Know your own happiness. Want for nothing but patience. Or give it a more fascinating name: call it hope.”



 ~Sodapop

For Auld Lang Syne

2012 started with me sitting in office doing whatever ever work I could for a paycheck. Tennessee saved me - twice. After a visit to see a close friend, and another visit to a theatre conference, I finally got my break. Two days after I turned 24, I packed up my life and moved to St. Louis. Although I hated the theatre I worked for, I loved my co-workers and had the time of my life. I don't think St. Louis changed me- but rather living in St. Louis allowed me to become more myself than I have ever been - for which I am forever grateful to the people I met there. In August I moved to Kentucky, to a job that I absolutely love. I cannot say enough wonderful things about the people I work with and for.

This year I have been to North Carolina, Virginia, Georgia, Ohio, Delaware, New Jersey, Maryland, New York, Tennessee, West Virginia, Kentucky, Indiana, Missouri, Illinois and DC - you cannot deny I am adventure hungry.

All in all, 2012 has been a truly amazing year. I kind of hate New Year's because I find myself either putting so much hope in the new year that there's no way it could live up or I'm sad to say good bye to a year that's been so great. So 2013 has a lot to live up to, and I have plans and ideas for the year. And my adventures are already starting and planned - by the end of January, I will have already been to Ohio and California.

So I'll drink a cup of kindness tonight and cheers to 2012, auld lang syne, and a happy, healthy 2013.

Atta boy, Clarence!

If someone were to ask me which of all the angels ever written was my favorite, I would say, without a moment of hesitation, Clarence.

A true Christmas movie fanatic would know whom I'm talking about immediately. Clarence, the angel who hasn't earned his wings yet, who's got the innocence of a child and is sent from heaven to help George Bailey.  Clarence's naivety and innocence prove to be a hindrance when trying to help George, who's so low that he is debating the importance and value of his own life. But Clarence saves the day, and George's life. When Clarence shows George Bailey what the world would have been like had he never been born, George learns that life really is wonderful.

I sit here typing this, watching the Christmas classic It's A Wonderful Life, while wrapping the last of the Christmas presents. It's become a bit of a family tradition watching this movie on Christmas Eve. But the message of this movie is something I carry with me all year round. The quote I remember the most isn't even spoken in the movie, but written. It's message that Clarence's writes in his copy of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, and leaves for George after he's earned his wings:

Remember: No man is a failure who has friends.

I think of this all the time because I have some of the best friends in the whole world and they are literally all over the world.  Thanks to you, every single one of you, I am not a failure, and I have a wonderful life because you are in it.

Special thanks to Kristen, Sydney, Annie & Chris, Leslie, Taylor, Jacqueline, Dorothy, Amanda, Delta, Sara & Brad, Amina, Claire & Chris, Kate, Emily, other Emily, Mike, Rodney, Nikki, Mary, Richard, Leah, Kenan, Bob, John, Charles, Kolby, Courtney, Megan, Kat, other Kat, Jesse, Matthew, Jenna, Sean, Drew, my uncs, my bros, my sis, my nephs, nieces and oh how the list goes on. All of you impacted my 2012 for the better and rejoice in calling you all friends.

But most importantly thanks to Beth and Gene Stainback. You're great parents, but you are even better friends. I love you.

Merry Christmas to All!

Oh and for all the angels out there waiting on their wings I give you this!

My One and Only Political Soap-Box

I hate politics. Always have, always will. I especially hate presidential election years. All I get from the campaigns, debates and politicians is why the other party is wrong. I don't pretend to understand anything about politics and I don't pretend to be informed enough to voice reasonable and sound opinions about any political matter (course are any political opinions reasonable or sound?). Election years just frustrate the hell out of me so I'd rather not participate in any political discussion with peers, friends and family.

But this year is a little different. This year I am working in the building where the Vice Presidential Debate took place. In fact as I am writing this the festivities for the debate are still going on. This debate has been a major concern in my workplace since I started 2 months ago. Of course the politics of the debate weren't the concern as much as the inconvenience the debate would be, but nevertheless the debate is a big deal to everyone around here. There is no way to get around the hoopla that this election is stirring in the town - the election is literally outside my front door right now. So I participated in the festivities as much as person who can't stand politics can. I went to the Debate Festival on Campus this afternoon, tried to get on MSNBC, got some free stuff from AARP - the official sponsor of the debate, and listened to the live Kentucky music. But I ultimately decided not to stay at the Festival to watch the debate. Watching the debate (which would ultimately bore me and frustrate me at the same time) outside in the cold just didn't sound very fun to me.

I opened the windows of my apartment so I could still hear what's going on on campus, and turned on the debate.  Within seconds I am already annoyed with both candidates and have no interest in continuing to watch, but I do nonetheless. Every now and then I can hear cheering from crowds outside because one of the candidates has said something that is excites one political party or the other - unfortunately I haven't paid enough attention to know what they've said that was so great. It wasn't until the last few minutes of the debate that it really got interesting. When Biden and Ryan were asked to share their stance on religion and abortion both candidates had my undivided attention (literally, I almost burned my dinner listening to what they had to say). Ryan spoke first saying that life begins at conception and that abortion would be illegal except in the instances of rape, incest and the woman's health if Romney was elected. Biden agreed that life begins at conception, but would never force that belief on someone of another faith. I'm not entirely sure what he said after that because I was distracted by the eruption of cheers from campus. I just happen to agree with Biden and it was very exciting to hear the crowd react the way they did. But it got me to thinking about all the other issues being discussed in this debate and presidential race. I may not have known what either of the candidates were talking about the entire debate (again, all I hear is blame and finger pointing) but they covered a lot of issues and I'm confused as to why the biggest cheer from the crowd is about abortion.

It seems as though women's rights have become a very big issue during this campaign, and same-sex marriage has become more and more prevalent every year. It is disappointing that these are the issues that mean the most to the younger generation, not because they aren't important issues, but because they shouldn't even be issues to begin with.

The United States was founded under the belief that all men are created equal and as a country we have fought for our freedom. Throughout our history, our country has expanded our founding belief to include men and women of all races are created equal and we are called "The Land of the Free."So why are we still fighting for freedom of our bodies, and of our beliefs and religions? It is so infuriating to me. Basic human rights and freedom in America should be water under the bridge. I shouldn't have to worry about them. I don't want to vote for a candidate because they are going ensure that my freedoms are secure because my freedoms in America should be redundant. I want to worry about the economy, unemployment, healthcare, the War on Iraq.

I'm not saying that everyone should vote for Obama because he's going to ensure that women have the right to do with their body as they please and that eventually a man can marry a man and a woman can marry a woman and expect the same rights as a married man and woman. All I'm saying is that isn't it a shame that we are still talking about rights and freedoms in this country after all that this country has gone through? Isn't it a shame that the younger generation still has to worry about this? What does that say about the next generation? If this generation is still worried about freedoms and rights and liberties, what will the economy, the unemployment rate, and healthcare be like when the next generation has to worry about them?

It has been really exciting being a part of this debate. It is something that I will always remember and be proud to have been a part of. But I have to say I'm so glad it's all over. I still hate politics.

For The One Who Argues With Brick Walls

The following is a post I wrote several weeks ago. Although the post is directed to one person specifically, I hesitated posting it online because it allowed others to be a part of something that was very personal to me. But I think its important for me to share. It doesn't matter who reads this - it doesn't even matter if the "one who argues with brick walls" reads it. Yes, I want the people that love me and know me to understand, or at least be aware, of the change that happened to me. But it only matters that I share this change because maybe it can impact someone else as well.

Today marks one month from the day I left St. Louis. I love St. Louis, but I don't think I could ever go back - what happened there was too great for me - any other visit would be weak and disappointing by comparison. When I wrote the following I didn't post it because I thought that I would regret sharing as much as I did, especially because I wouldn't be able to take it back. What I realize now is that I would regret not sharing it and I refuse to live a life of regrets. And so, with this post, I share how one person changed me, how I will never forget it, and how I am now moving on.

I have found that everywhere I go I make friends that make the journey worth it. This summer was no exception. I am proud to say that the people I worked with and lived with this summer were some of the most talented, fun and caring people I have ever met. They are indeed lifelong friends and I hope deeply that our paths cross again, in the professional world as well as in the personal. 

But there is one that stood out among all the others. I hope that when the individual reads this (and I hope they do) they will have no doubt that I am talking about them.  There will be assumptions made by friends, family and others as to who this person is and what exactly happened this summer. I invite them to assume away, but I respect this persons privacy too much to reveal specific details and the true events that happened are no one's business but my own. But I feel I must express myself because I cannot speak of this summer without acknowledging the impact that this one person had not only on my time in St. Louis, but on me. 

I admit to always feeling shy, and being the one who always wanted the attention from the crowd but not sure how to get it. I feel awkward with people I don't know well. I always thought I was confident in myself and I believed myself to be strong, smart and convicted in my own beliefs. I thought I was a person that I was proud to be. I always wanted people to like me, and to never think badly of me. But I still am surprised to find out that people like me and want to be my friend.

Getting to know you, the one who would argue with a brick wall, completely shattered everything I had ever thought to be true of myself. Somehow you showed me that I wasn't confident enough- that I sold myself short. I didn't know how weak my confidence was until you told me. You showed me what I deserved and that I never have to sacrifice what I want for anyone: The people that are worth it won't expect me to change. I stopped giving a damn of what others thought of me and lived for myself and as a result I had one, if not the best summer of my life. You taught me what it felt like to be respected in ways that no one has ever shown me before. I don't have to be embarrassed by what I want, what I believe or how I feel because that's who I am. Somehow my shyness melted away this summer, and I got the kind of attention I had always wanted. 

You didn't make my life easier. Hell, you made it more complicated the way you shook it up. I cannot tell you how many times I just wanted to walk, or rather, run away from everything that was happening. You terrified me, angered me and pulled my emotions in 700 different directions. In the most trying of times, I relied on my strength and upheld my convictions despite the rocky platform on which I had learned my confidence stood. I am not ashamed or embarrassed by the results. In fact, I am more proud of the woman I am now because of those moments. I hope that was apparent to you - that my strength and convictions never wavered, but my confidence grew. I cannot deny the fact that my life feels fuller and better simply from what I learned from you. I believe in myself more fiercely than I ever have in my life. Did you know that confidence makes you happy? I am a happier person now, thanks to you. I can say with conviction and more confidence than I have ever had before, that I lived a full life this summer with no regrets and will take that with me everywhere I go.

You gave me so much and my worst fear is that I wasn't able to reciprocate it. I hope that you took away from me as much as I took from you, otherwise I will feel very selfish in how our friendship developed (but I know it was never a one-sided relationship). "Thank you" is too small of a phrase, too little of words. It just doesn't seem enough to say. But when you said it to me, it filled me up and reminded me that it was all worth it. One thing I have always known to be true - that hasn't changed from meeting you: Everything happens for a reason. You and I were supposed to meet, become friends and impact each other in ways we didn't expect. Some things are meant to be. 

I hope the day comes when our paths cross again. Until then, you have a lifelong friend who's only a text away.